As a kid, I danced to please my mother. Now I dance to get out of this endless dissociation.   Zelensky Replaces Defense Minister, Citing Need for ‘New Approaches.’ I crawl out of my bed and jayrun towards a last-century fieldhouse built on the money of Will Weightman. He was a quinine king from England. … Read more…

I have always been uncertain of where I fit. When my ears were smaller, they would prick up around common words others would use to define me:                 “quiet,”                               “shy,”            … Read more…

I have been sitting in silence looking out the window for an hour. Though, technically, it’s been exactly one hour and 44 minutes since I left my meeting. And I have done nothing. The plan was to take the notes from my meeting and put them into my paper and then enjoy my friend’s birthday … Read more…

Prologue: Me, You and Soup Once upon a time, 3.8 billion years ago, before girl dinners and Amazon must-haves, we were each a small, insignificant, trivial part of the prehistoric grandiosity which we now call primordial soup.  How wonderful! Being in a perpetual stew of water, complex organic molecules and other non-carbon compounds, no burden … Read more…

I look at myself in the mirror of the single-stall bathroom on the third floor bathroom of Van Pelt Library and let out a repressed sigh. I’m dressed in an outfit that I put together the night before while spending a hand sticking out of your grave amount of time staring in the mirror. Was … Read more…

Chapter 4 Lesson Two: Kinks & Fetishes; Alter Egos and Branding; and Self-Care There are many skills already under my belt from my first encounters with Cash Vamp. How to beat someone with a riding crop, how to evade prudish law enforcement officers, and, of course, the myriad of ways to say yes and no. … Read more…

Witches freak me out. They’re the blue-haired weirdos who rock Demon Slayer graphic tees from Hot Topic. You know the type: the emo bitches that cake their faces with heavy eyeliner and fiddle with Ouija boards.  But who was I to fear? With my chestnut Uggslippers and AGOLDE 90’s jeans, I’m your typical girly-girl. You’ll … Read more…

Confessions of a Heist Mastermind I am one of the most materialistic fuckers you will ever meet. I’m in class right now, writing this piece in my cashmere sweater and custom tailored pants. Our writing professor tells us to ‘be pretentious.’ He doesn’t know I’m wearing Italian lingerie.  Materialism would be an understatement. Each possession, … Read more…

It’s raining. Very lightly though. Not cold, just small gusts of wind. Bed unmade. I used to do it, until I realized I’ll climb back to my bed in a couple hours. The blinds are closed. Gray washed lights still manage to creep in. I have nowhere to be apart from the gym, which I … Read more…

Kaguya-hime I There’s an old children’s story that my mom used to tell me, as she brushed my hair and tucked me under the covers. It starts like all Japanese monogatari do: Long, long ago… There was an old bamboo farmer who lived with his wife; a childless couple. One day, as the man went … Read more…